“Quit Smoking, Baby, Even Though the World is Ending”: Kirbie’s Favorites of 2021

Kirbie B
7 min readDec 18, 2021

2021 was another tragically endless year, yet it zoomed by at an alarming speed. With headlines screaming like sirens and Death in the bylines, too many tears were shed over the loss of larger-than-life souls alongside the on-going deferral of justice on many fronts.

Our hearts continue to grow impossibly heavy, but we need them to beat louder now.

Despite the sorrow and rage, there were moments of joy and for me, that’s reflected here in this list. But that’s not meant to imply all of this material is optimistic. So many of these books, records, etc. explore those dark places in the soul and history, combing through the fragments of a broken world. And yet, out of that experience, there is joy to be found — it’s a tiny stubborn light flickering against clustering darkness forever, to quote a band.

Here’s to the margin walkers, finding laughter in the darkness.

Fiction:

I am forever a misguided child of fiction, and here are the novels/story collections that made the year worth it:

1) I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness by Claire Vaye Watkins

It didn’t take long for my adoration over this novel to quickly swell into an avalanche. Surreal, subversive, quirky with plenty of dark humor - all of which compounds the emotional core of this story exploring desire, motherhood, and historical/family trauma. Like the landscape the novel’s set in, it’s a beautifully raw and sprawling story about the word, the world and the West.

And there’s another novel I love from ages ago, written by John Fante about reckless poets and lovers disappearing in the desert. So unsatisfied, with nothing left to lose, they ask the dust. I like to think Camilla Lopez responds in the wind, and Darkness is one story she would tell.

2) The Prophets by Robert Jones, Jr.

3) Peaces by Helen Oyeyemi

4) My Heart is a Chainsaw by Stephen Graham Jones

5) The Past is Red by Cathyrenne M. Valente

6) Milkfed by Melissa Broder

7) I Will Die in a Foreign Land by Kalani Pickhart

I’ve been slowly reading this one and haven’t been able to talk it up enough but this is such a beautiful and epic work of historical fiction, set in the Ukraine during the 2013 uprising against Putin. For a better understanding of that situation, in her book Indefensible the scholar Rohini Hensman provides a nuanced and critical history of Ukraine’s relationship with Russia, as well as its struggle for independence (I highly recommend that one, for starters at least). And in her debut novel, Pickhart gives voice to the kaleidoscope of lives and stories tangled up in this on-going tragic struggle.

8) Queer Werewolves Destroy Capitalism by MJ Lyons

9) Someone Should Pay for Your Pain by Franz Nicolay

10) The Glassy, Burning Floor of Hell by Brian Evenson

Non-fiction:

1) Red Nation Rising: From Bordertown Violence to Native Liberation by Nick Estes, Melanie K. Yazzie, Jennifer Nez Denetdale, and David Correia

This is one of those books I’ve been waiting for all my life — a manifesto intent on reviving the radical spirit of Indigenous liberation movements and decolonization, with an emphasis on intersectional justice and Indigenous-centered struggles on all fronts. I’m so happy for this book’s existence.

2) A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance by Hanif Abdurraqib

3) The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity by David Graeber and David Wengrow

4) Dog Flowers: A Memoir by Danielle Geller

5) Night Rooms by Gina Nutt

6) Poet Warrior by Joy Harjo

7) Not a Nation of Immigrants: Settler Colonialism, White Supremacy, and a History of Erasure and Exclusion by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

8) An Afro-Indigenous History of the United States by Kyle T. Mays

Another book I’ve been waiting for all my life. Kyle T. Mays’ brilliant work here is a blessing to the world.

9) Music is History by Questlove

10) We Had a Little Real Estate Problem: The Unheralded Story of Native Americans & Comedy by Kliph Nesteroff

11) Sellout: The Major-Label Feeding Frenzy That Swept Punk, Emo, and Hardcore (1994–2007) by Dan Ozzi

12) The Price of the Ticket by James Baldwin

Technically, this is a re-release of a Baldwin essay collection that was once long out-of-print, but I gotta give Baldwin a shout out any time his work has been revived. You can always count on his radical, poetic prose and wisdom to soothe an aching heart in a crumpled world, and this giant book belongs on everyone’s shelf.

13) The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic by Jessica Hopper

Again, another re-release here but Jessica Hopper’s writing has meant so much to me since I was a teen — I am compelled to celebrate any book by her any time it’s released. I have endless admiration for the depth and scope of her writings on pop culture and the subterranean, which has been a big influence on my own writing.

14) Border & Rule: Global Migration, Capitalism, and the Rise of Racist Nationalism by Harsha Walia

15) The Operating System: An Anarchist Theory of the Modern State by Eric Laursen

16) Mutual Aid: An Illuminated Factor of Evolution by Peter Kropotkin, with illustrations by N.O. Bonzo

Surprise, it’s another re-release! But everyone should read Kropotkin and bless PM Press for putting together this creative and beautifully illustrated rendition of his classic text. N.O. Bonzo is an incredible artist and their brilliance is on full display here as it adorns Kropotkin’s message of harmony free of domination.

17) Our Class: Trauma and Transformation in an American Prison by Chris Hedges

18) Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell

19) The Red Deal: Indigenous Action to Save Our Earth by The Red Nation

20) Places of Mind: A Life of Edward Said by Timothy Brennan

Poetry:

1) What Noise Against the Cane by Desiree C. Bailey

2) 808s & Otherworlds: Memories, Remixes, & Mythologies by Sean Avery Medlin

3) Now We’re Getting Somewhere by Kim Addonizio

4) The Sunflower Cast a Spell to Save Us from the Void by Jackie Wang

5) My Darling from the Lions by Rachel Long

6) Goldenrod by Maggie Smith

7) Superdoom by Melissa Broder

8) Words Like Love by Tanaya Winder

Technically, here’s another re-release but once again, I adore Tanaya Winder’s work and the new cover art beautifully complements her rich poetry.

9) I Hope This Finds You Well by Kate Baer

10) Complete Poems by Jim Harrison

Comic Books/Graphic Novels:

1) The Many Deaths of Laila Starr by Ram V. & Filipe Andrade

2) The Me You Love in the Dark by Skottie Young & Jorge Corona

3) By The Horns by Markisan Naso & Jason Muhr

4) Red Room by Ed Piskor

5) Ice Cream Man by W. Maxwell Prince & Martin Morazzo

6) Stray Dogs by Tony Fleecs & Trish Forstner

7) Home Sick Pilots by Dan Watters & Casper Wijingaard

8) Nice House on the Lake by James Tynion IV & Alvaro Martinez

9) Geiger by Geoff Johns & Gary Frank

10) Sweet Paprika by Mirka Andolfo

11) 500 Years of Indigenous Resistance by Gord Hill

12) Squad by Maggie Tokuda Hall & Lisa Sterle

13) Fungirl by Elizabeth Pich

14) Memorial Ride by Stephen Graham Jones & Maria Wolf

15) Katie the Catsitter by Colleen AF Venable & Stephanie Yue

Music:

The first track on Laura Stevenson’s self-titled record has a slow build, but before the first minute arrives, she belts out the refrain, “It keeps me alive.” As in so many of her songs, I’m held in that moment by her diamond voice. And that refrain resonates with me, as the drums crash into propulsive, distorted guitars — building up into a tidal wave in my chest holier than a baptism. Her music consistently leaves me spellbound and renewed, and her latest offering is no exception.

Alongside all that, this year was stacked with so much great music. I could’ve gone on listing more but I had to stop at a certain point. Maybe over time, these rankings will change, so if anything this is a snapshot of what strongly moved me in the moment during a dark, topsy-turvy year. Nothing will change that number one though. Laura Stevenson for life.

1) Laura Stevenson by Laura Stevenson

2) Puppies Forever by BLACKSTARKIDS

3) G_d’s Pee AT STATE’S END! By Godspeed You! Black Emperor

4) Black Encyclopedia of the Air by Moor Mother

5) Infinite Granite by Deafheaven

6) The Moon and the Stars: Prescriptions for Dreamers by Valerie June

7) Draw Down the Moon by Foxing

8) When You Found Me by Lucero

9) Blood Harmony by Dave Hause

10) Dark in Here by The Mountain Goats

11) HEY WHAT by Low

12) SKA DREAM by Jeff Rosenstock

13) Little Oblivions by Julien Baker

14) Mikey Erg by Mikey Erg

15) Radical by Every Time I Die

16) A Good Year to Forget by Joey Cape

17) Nice One by Catbite

18) Carnage by Nick Cave & Warren Ellis

19) Better Medicine by The Best of the Worst

20) Jubilee by Japanese Breakfast

21) Realms of Exquisite Morbidity by Malignant Altar

22) Alone in a Dome by The Copyrights

23) As the Love Continues by Mogwai

24) Brain Dust by Glowing Brain

25) Diorama by MØL

26) Dead Best by Dead Best

27) Valentine by Snail Mail

28) Get Up Sequences Part One by The Go! Team

29) Death of a Cheerleader by Pom Pom Squad

30) Pilgrimage of the Soul by MONO

Honorable Mentions/Reissues in Music:

  1. Electric Warriors/Dog Soldier by Winterhawk

Don Giovanni Records did the lord’s work and resurrected Winterhawk’s music, bringing it into the present day. I can’t praise that label enough. And these two records are hidden gems in the discography of American music. Similar to how my ancestors have been here since time immemorial, there has always been an Indigenous heart coursing through the grooves of rock ’n’ roll and this band only reaffirms that.

2) Today’s Empires, Tomorrow’s Ashes (20th Anniversary Reissue) by Propagandhi

This record changed my life in so many ways back in 2001. I have a reflection essay in the works expanding on all that — one day I’ll share it. Regarding this remixed/remastered release, it’s like hearing a whole new album and, much like the first time I heard this many years back, this leaves me shook and rattled all over again.

3) Sorry, Ma’, Forgot to Take Out the Trash (40th Anniversary Deluxe Edition) by The Replacements

It’s The Replacements. Don’t ask why.

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Kirbie B

indigenous. margin walker. in love with love and lousy poetry.